CHARACTERS:
FELIX STANZA, a wealthy builder, 50s
PAULETTE STANZA, wife of Felix, 40s
CALISTA STANZA, niece of Felix and Paulette, early 20s
JIMMY, boyfriend of Calista, late 20s
TIME:
A summer day.
PLACE:
An estate north of Chicago.
We are in the second-floor bedroom
at an estate north of Chicago. In
the background, there is the
suggestion of French doors opening
onto a balcony. In the foreground,
a reclining chair evokes an
elegant chaise lounge. A liquor
bottle stands nearby on a small
table. Sounds of partygoers at the
swimming pool outside waft through
the doors.
Looking vaguely disheveled,
PAULETTE stretches out on the
chair, an unfolded letter dangling
from one hand and a brandy snifter
in the other. She wears a short,
gauzy swimsuit cover-up. Her high
heeled sandals are tipped over on
the floor. In his white sports
jacket, FELIX gazes out the open
doors.
FELIX
We’ll try again.
FELIX closes the doors.
PAULETTE
(tipsy)
You don’t even care.
FELIX
I do care, dammit. I said, we’ll try again. Another agency.
PAULETTE
(waving the letter)
Another agency, another denial. Three years of denial.
FELIX
Paulette, what the hell. We’re throwing a party. Snap out of it.
PAULETTE
The Marvellos only had to wait six months for their adoption to go through. The application, that paperwork, interviews, home visits. It went fast. And now they’re —
FELIX
This is no time to re-play the Marvello fairy tale.
PAULETTE
And now they’re happy.
FELIX
We have guests to think about, for God’s sake.
(pause)
Marty drove Momma all the way out here. With those screaming kids in that crappy car of his. Callie’s bringing her lawyer friend Jimmy to this middle of nowhere, so you can hold court.
PAULETTE
We are not having guests, Felix. These people are freeloaders. (pause)
And I’m the cherry on top of a hot fudge mess – childless hostess to a freeloading family.
FELIX
Cut it out, Paulette. Look around at all the crap I get for you. Just because you can’t have one little thing —
PAULETTE
One little thing?!
(pause)
A normal family, like the Marvellos. That’s all I want.
FELIX
Let’s go down to the guests. You’ll feel better.
PAULETTE
When your mother finds out about this one —
(holding the letter up)
She’ll turn our party into a funeral, for the barren daughter in-law of her favorite son.
FELIX
Don’t use that word.
PAULETTE
What word?
FELIX
‘Barren.’ It’s an ugly word.
PAULETTE
It’s your mother’s word. It’s the word she uses to describe me. Your whole family uses it.
FELIX
We’ll find another damn agency.
FELIX abruptly turns back to the
doors and looks toward the pool.
PAULETTE
(listening as if to a sound from outside)
What’s that?
PAULETTE sets the letter and the
glass down on the table.
FELIX
Nothing.
PAULETTE
Nothing?
FELIX
A motorcycle. Callie’s here. With her lawyer friend Jimmy.
PAULETTE runs her fingers through
her hair to smooth it out.
PAULETTE
What if she comes up? What if she brings Momma up?
FELIX
She won’t come up.
PAULETTE
She always comes up.
(pause)
To smooch with her Uncle Felix.
FELIX
(turning back)
You’re way out of line, Paulette.
PAULETTE
It’s the truth. You smooch with your brother’s daughter.
FELIX
I paid the tuition so she could get some education at that fancy girls’ school. Marty’s hard up these days. That’s all.
PAULETTE
And the convertible? Her new clothes?
FELIX
Look, let’s get you ready. Our guests are waiting.
PAULETTE sits up straight and
adjusts her clothing. Crouching on
the floor next to his wife, FELIX
helps her slip on her sandals.
PAULETTE
Callie’s on her way up. I can feel it.
(pause)
What should I say about the denial?
FELIX
Put a cork in it, Paulette. Callie won’t come up.
PAULETTE
(suspiciously)
What’s wrong? Something’s wrong.
FELIX
Nothing’s wrong.
(pause)
Maybe Callie will come up.
(pause)
Paulette, she’s pregnant.
PAULETTE
Pregnant?
FELIX sits down on the chaise
lounge, next to his wife.
FELIX
Callie’s expecting. With her lawyer friend. A baby.
PAULETTE
With the lawyer friend?
FELIX
(placing his hand on her leg)
There are other damn agencies. We’ll try another agency.
PAULETTE
Felix, stop. It’s not the agencies.
(pause)
It’s us.
CALISTA knocks on the bedroom
door. She enters, wearing a very
short sun dress. FELIX stands.
CALISTA
He got the job!
CALISTA runs to hug FELIX.
In the law office near San Francisco! It’s real money, Jimmy says.
PAULETTE
San Francisco?
CALISTA
Near San Francisco. In a valley. Where everything’s growing, and the money is —
PAULETTE
Real.
CALISTA
We already signed a lease. And there’s a hot tub in the yard.
FELIX
So Jimmy and you are heading out west?
CALISTA
(to Felix)
Don’t act like you’re surprised, Uncle.
(to Paulette)
Felix knows all about the moving. He practically got the job for Jimmy. He even found us the rental – with a hot tub in the yard!
PAULETTE
And the baby – what about the baby?
CALISTA
(to Felix)
She knows?
FELIX nods.
CALISTA
You told her.
PAULETTE
Are you taking the baby?
FELIX
Of course, they are.
CALISTA
Of course, we are, Paulette. It’s our baby. Jimmy and me.
PAULETTE
But how will you manage –
FELIX
It’s their baby.
PAULETTE
Without Felix? Without me.
(pause)
How will we manage?
FELIX
(angrily)
Lay off, Paulette. It’s not Calista’s fault. She doesn’t have to give us what we can’t get on our own.
(to Calista)
She did it to herself, you know.
PAULETTE
Felix, no.
CALISTA
Jimmy says —
FELIX puts an arm around CALISTA.
FELIX
(to Calista)
She’s to blame. Not you, not me. She did it to herself.
CALISTA
Jimmy says there’s a pool in our future. Like Felix and Paulette.
FELIX
In the beginning, she didn’t want one. She said a baby would screw with her figure.
PAULETTE
It wasn’t just me.
FELIX removes his arm from around CALISTA.
FELIX
(to Paulette)
They waste your time. They wake you up. They scream. Right, Paulette?
(pause)
So the doctor took care of things. Didn’t he?
(to Calista)
He told her there’d be no going back.
PAULETTE
The doctor told us.
FELIX retrieves the letter.
FELIX
The doctor said, once it’s done, it’s done. True to form, she changed her ever-loving mind.
PAULETTE
We changed our minds.
FELIX
(to Calista, increasingly agitated)
You know, I’m a builder. I was born to build things up. Tall, indestructible. But I’m married to the demolition queen.
CALISTA
(backing away)
Uncle, stop.
FELIX
She tears down.
FELIX thrusts the letter in
CALISTA’s direction. CALISTA
refuses to take it.
FELIX
Three years of denials! What the hell do they mean — ‘not suitable’ Look around at all this crap.
CALISTA starts to whimper. JIMMY
knocks on the bedroom door.
JIMMY
Calista?
PAULETTE
Look at us.
JIMMY
(louder, entering bedroom)
Callie?
CALISTA runs to JIMMY. FELIX goes
to PAULETTE and sits on the bed.
JIMMY
(to Calista)
What happened?
CALISTA leans into JIMMY.
FELIX
There are other agencies.
PAULETTE takes the letter from
FELIX. She lowers her head.
JIMMY
Honey?
FELIX
If I have to build it with my own bare hands,
(holds out his hands)
we’ll get an agency.
JIMMY
What did you do to her? What did you say?
FELIX
(coyly)
To Callie?
JIMMY
To make her cry.
FELIX
She was telling us about her future out west. Your future –
JIMMY
Like hell she was.
FELIX
— your job, a new house –
PAULETTE
— the baby.
JIMMY
(to Felix)
Our baby.
FELIX stands and moves toward the
French doors, his back turned to
Jimmy.
JIMMY
I know about the girls, old man, your thrills, buildings from here to kingdom come.
FELIX
Back off, Jimmy.
JIMMY
Towers that pierce the sky. That’s what Callie said.
PAULETTE
No more.
JIMMY
And a barren wife on top.
PAULETTE moans. She drops the
letter on the floor. FELIX turns
and rushes at JIMMY. JIMMY
releases CALISTA. FELIX pushes
JIMMY down.
JIMMY
(struggling to get up)
But the only thing you want is what you can’t have.
FELIX shoves an open hand in
the direction of JIMMY’s face.
FELIX
See this, boy. It feeds your pretty girlfriend. I’m warning you, don’t bite it.
PAULETTE
(to Jimmy)
Get out of my house.
JIMMY
(rising to his feet)
Callie and me, it’s our baby. And we can have a whole helluva lot more.
JIMMY puts his arm around CALISTA.
They exit together.
FELIX
It was your unnatural deed.
PAULETTE
Our deed.
(softly)
There’s no undoing what we’ve done.
FELIX goes to the French doors,
opens them, and looks out. The
sound of partygoers drifts up to
the bedroom from the pool below.
FELIX
(turns to his wife)
Our guests are waiting.
End of play.
Copyright © 2022 by Mary Ellen Swee.
All Rights Reserved.
All inquiries regarding rights should be addressed to:
Mary Ellen Swee
325 Wimbledon Court
Lake Bluff, IL 60044
847-922-5242
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